"Love Believes the Best," Part 2

Star Wars burst on the scene when Eileen and I married in 1977. As a fan, I’ve noticed some similarities while writing this theme. Both are trilogies and feature good versus evil, but it also strikes me that things are at their worst in the middle chapter. The darkness before the dawn. Today’s somber message is sent on a sad day for our nation, but it is important that we explore and understand it.

First, you need to realize that there is another place deep inside your heart - the Depreciation Room. It battles against the Appreciation Room and sadly, you visit there as well. It contains the things your spouse does that bothers and irritates you. It also includes their weaknesses and failures.

While dating, this room was rather empty. But just as we tend to visit the Appreciation Room less after we marry, the Depreciation Room can also change. We begin to discover flaws about our spouse that we previously overlooked. In addition, if we are not intentional about our marriage or following the ways of love during this critical transition, we may become thoughtless and drift apart. And so out of frustration, hurt feelings and disappointment of unmet expectations, we enter the Depreciation Room to write their bad habits, hurtful words and poor decisions on its walls.

Spending time in the Depreciation Room kills marriages. The longer you stay, the more your heart devalues your spouse. It begins the moment you walk through the door. Depression, anger and sinful thoughts lurk here, waiting to overtake you. Emotional injuries fester and people ‘fall out of love’ in this room. Some write hateful things that will be used as ammunition in future fights. Evil schemes and divorces are plotted here.

You may say, “But things written on these walls are true.” Perhaps, but so are the things in the Appreciation room! We are all flawed. Everyone has painful memories, unresolved issues and personal baggage. Unfortunately, we often magnify our partner’s negative attributes and failures while ignoring our own.

I don’t want to end on a negative note, so here are two suggestions. First, you were challenged to ‘visit’ the Appreciation Room. Hopefully you did so and enjoyed it, because I encourage you to return there again. Second, if/when any negative thoughts or emotions surface about your spouse, avoid the Depreciation Room at all cost. Pray for strength to resist and focus instead on the positives. Remember, you are married to God’s son or daughter who He loves very much. As followers of Christ, strive to love them as He does.

See you next week for the finale!

Fred