"Love Protects — A Different Perspective" (Part 2)

Last week concentrated on how and why marriages fail. Today we will hear from Paul Tripp on ways to protect against this. First, recall his statement that marriage occurs within the battlefield of spiritual warfare. This means a marriage must be vertically aligned with God before it can be horizontally aligned with your spouse. The place to win this battle is on your knees in prayer. We cannot quit seeking God’s help for our marriage. Every day we face temptations and unexpected issues. Every day we are called to fight against what is wrong. Every day we are called to sacrifice something in order to capture an opportunity to love.

Marriage is designed to do several things many of us never thought of. First, to realize that we are not up to the task. God uses marriage as a tool to teach us how to give, love, serve, forgive, encourage and wait. Marriage is not meant to be a destination; it is not an end in itself. So God is not only working to form your marriage into what He designed it to be, but also to reform you into what He created you to be. This might make you feel weak because the bar is set high. That’s actually a good thing because it drives us to God. Remember, our marriage is actually in greater danger when we rely on our own strength and wisdom.

Prayer can be a transforming power in both your individual life and marriage. It reminds you of the context of your marriage — it is not a situation or location; the context is God. Prayer also reminds us of the reality of our marriage; that it is a constant dance between sin and grace. Sin is the reason for the problems of our marriage while grace is the hope of dealing with them. Therefore, we need to be reconciled daily to God — and to one another.

Most marriages start out well with attention to and actions of love. Unfortunately, “comfort and busyness” often overwhelm us, so we stop doing the necessary work. This leads to erosion in our relationship. The movement of marriage seldom happens in one giant step; it is usually through ten thousand little steps. But prayer can protect by keeping us mindful.

Prayer pushes us in the right direction. And Tripp even illustrates how the Lord’s prayer can apply to marriage. It reminds us that we are not alone and “protects us from ourselves.” It reminds us that God’s purpose for our marriage is always bigger than our marriage itself. Real unity begins when a couple stops trying to set an agenda for their marriage and instead, pursues God’s agenda together. It reminds us that we are needy and dependent on God. It reminds us of God’s call to show the same grace to your spouse that He has given you. And finally, it reminds us that the key to a marriage of unity, understanding, and love is rooted in God’s kingdom, not ours.

Remember, no marriage is safe — all need protection from a multitude of threats. So no matter how long you have been married, no matter how much you have learned, grown, and changed, keeping fighting for your marriage in prayer!