"Love Fulfills Dreams," Part 2
/The first part of this theme ended with an encouragement to consider what dreams your spouse might have and how to fulfill them. I hope you gave it some thought and came up with a few ideas. Maybe it’s an unexpected gift. It could be something luxurious, such as jewelry - or it could be practical, like a special piece of equipment or appliance that would make household chores easier. Maybe it’s a romantic date, a weekend getaway, or even an exotic vacation.
Not everything has to be expensive or even be bought with money. Perhaps their biggest desire is non-materialistic. Your spouse may simply want more of your time and attention, or help with daily tasks. Maybe you could secretly tackle a special project they have yearned for. My wife isn’t into gifts – kind words and deeds matter far more. The point is that dreams and desires come in all shapes and sizes. Yet they are typically associated with one’s primary love language.
In my opinion, loving your spouse well requires a proper balance between extravagant and routine strategies. Paul Tripp talks about the importance of “little moments”. He notes, “The character of a marriage isn’t set in three or four big moments. The character of marriage is set in 10,000 little moments of everyday life. If God doesn’t rule the little moments of your marriage, He doesn’t rule you; because that’s the address where your marriage lives.”
Even if you take your spouse on a dream vacation or buy something spectacular, it is unlikely to make amends for not loving them well on a daily basis. We will never navigate every little moment perfectly, but striving to do so will lay the foundation on which we can add periodic displays of extravagant love.
Let’s return to Love Dare for some closing thoughts. Love thinks lavishly while taking notes of your spouse’s dreams. This includes
Listening carefully to discover what they are hoping for or really need.
Remembering special things that are unique to your relationship or creating new memories during this season of your lives.
Giving when it is unexpected (non-birthday/anniversary/holidays) or would be more convenient to wait.
Imagining opportunities so that planning surprises becomes second nature.
Has it been a long time since you loved extravagantly? Is it no longer on the menu? The challenge is to think in terms of overwhelming your spouse with love; to exceed all their expectations with surprising kindness. Whether it is something free or requires a financial sacrifice, and regardless of it being materialistic or not, it needs to reflect your thoughtfulness and a heart that is willing to love abundantly. And it needs to be a supplement to, not a substitute for, loving well in the 10,000 little moments of your marriage.
Matthew West wrote a song called “The Motions”. In it, he repeatedly asks a question of faith – but one that is also appropriate for this message: “What if I had given everything instead of going through the motions?” One of the greatest regrets people have later in life is that they did not love others more fully when they had the chance. Now is your chance! So, “What is something your spouse would really, really love?” It’s time to start living out the answer to that question!