"Love is Kind"
/Last week, we identified the two pillars of love and explored the first — Patience. Today, we will examine the second — Kindness. There are distinct differences, yet they blend together in harmony. The Kendricks note these contrasts: Patience reacts to minimize a negative circumstance while kindness acts to maximize a positive one. Patience avoids a problem while kindness creates a blessing. Patience is preventive; kindness is proactive.
Kindness is love in action! Here are some core characteristics:
Initiative. Kindness anticipates and takes the first step. It does not put requirements on the other nor wait to be earned — it greets first, serves first and forgives first. You recognize another’s need, then respond to it.
Gentleness. You are tender and avoid being insensitive or harsh. This applies not only to the words you choose, but also your tone of voice, body language, posture and your actions. Even when you have hard things to say, do so softly.
Helpfulness. You look to serve another by putting aside your needs to unselfishly meet theirs.
Willingness. You are agreeable, cooperative and flexible. Instead of complaining or making excuses, you adjust and accommodate. You are also ready to listen rather than demand your own way.
Jesus life exemplifies kindness in action. The parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:30–37) is also a great illustration. Observe how the Samaritan takes the initiative and demonstrates kindness through his acts of gentleness, helpfulness and willingness.
Here are some biblical calls for kindness. Ephesians 4:32 tells us to “Be kind and compassionate to one another”. And Colossians 3:12 says “Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience". Indeed, Galatians 5:22 lists both kindness and patience as “fruits of the Spirit”.
Take a moment to focus on kindness in your marriage. When you were dating, it was likely something that drew you to your spouse. Has this changed over time? Do you find it easier to be kind to others — perhaps a family member, friend or coworker — than your spouse?
Like patience, kindness doesn’t always come naturally. If you feel there is room to grow, I encourage you to take the initiative. This will require an intentional and possibly supernatural effort. The best approach is always ‘going vertical’ first, so meditate on God’s kindness to you. Also pray that your efforts will be sincere, sustained and unselfish. All this may be challenging, but it’s worth it because kindness is the glue that holds couples together.
Thank you for participating in this series and see you next week!
Fred