"An Interlude"

Our series has explored love, patience and kindness so far. And while it may seem odd pausing this early, they deserve more attention before continuing to our next theme. I will address each separately, then tie them together at the end. In doing so, I will also incorporate material from Bob Lepine’s new book, “Love Like You Mean It”.

Love: Bob discusses ‘falling in love’ and how couples often marry with a superficial view of it. What we liked was the feeling of being loved, so we married to get more than to give. So what happens when times are tough? It isn’t a lack of knowledge that love is the foundation for marriage. And it isn’t that love evaporated. Usually, we bought into the world’s view of love; not Christian love. Romance and passion are fine, but they alone cannot sustain a marriage. The key is learning and living the qualities of a true, rugged love – an agape love as described in 1 Corinthians 13. Our wedding vow is not to feel a certain way about your spouse, but to act a certain way for a lifetime.

Patience: The posture of patience is grace-giving. Normally, we absorb an offense, give grace and move on. But be careful that your willingness to endure does not enable your spouse to develop destructive sin patterns. Sometimes the best thing you can do is gently confront the sin pattern in someone’s life. Also, the Bible does not teach that an abused spouse should remain passive – get help!

Kindness: Researchers conclude that “the amount of kindness expressed is the single greatest predictor for marital satisfaction and stability.” For Christians, kindness is not a sentimental feeling; rather an unselfish demonstration of our love for another. And it is not about grand, ‘Hollywood-scale’ gestures. Real kindness is found in the 10,000 little things we do daily.

In closing, each Love Dare theme presents a challenge. Given our group’s size and diversity, plus a desire to avoid lecturing, I aim to write ‘messages of encouragement’. Building a Christ-centered marriage as part of our overall spiritual journey is not easy, yet I encourage you to continue seeking God’s way. Love, patience and kindness are all fruits of the Spirit. Choosing to incorporate them allows us to experience the beauty that God desires for our marriage while reflecting His glory to a fallen world.

I am keeping quiet about next week’s theme - but it is huge, so please don’t miss it!

Blessings,
Fred