"Cruciform Love" - Part 3

Here are a few final examples from Paul Tripp of Cruciform love in action.

IV. Love treats others well.

Love speaks kindly and gently, even in moments of disagreement, and refuses to attack a spouse’s character or intelligence. The wounds of harsh words live within a heart for a long time. But love says no to getting your own way by using words for warfare rather than tools of love. Choose your words wisely, and do not allow yourself to say whatever you think or where emotions lead you.

Love faithfully treats your spouse with appreciation, respect and grace - even in moments when they don’t seem to deserve it or are unwilling to reciprocate. This means loving your spouse when they have bad days, or are irritable, impatient, demanding or critical. It means loving when they hurt you and refuse to cooperate or help. Love refuses to use words as weapons or let the sun go down on your anger, even if your spouse does so.

Love also never allows the flaws of your spouse to become a reason to change the rules. True love is respectful and looks for ways to express appreciation. It finds joy in giving grace. It seeks to build and encourage. And true love does this no matter what.

V. Love is committed to continual growth.

Love requires ongoing growth so that the love you offer is increasingly selfless, mature, and patient. Love is not lazy or self-assured and does not live with feelings of arrival. It seeks God’s will and embodies a willingness to change. Love doesn’t coast; it always carries a personal growth agenda.

Love requires admitting to yourself, your spouse and God that you are not able to love this way without God’s grace. This requires two realizations. First, that love is deeper and more active than a warm, romantic feeling of affection toward someone you are attracted to. Love is a specific commitment to a specific person that calls you to a specific lifestyle of caring that requires you to make sacrifices for the good of another. Second, the bar is too high and we are incapable of continually loving this way. The realization of this weakness is not meant to make us give up; rather it drives us to seek and live in dependency on God.

In his recent sermon on Psalm 36, Pastor Brian spoke about how God meets us where we are at, but He doesn’t want us to keep living in our sin. He wants to transform us, has a plan for us and wants us to follow. Jesus knew that wisdom and principles wouldn’t be powerful enough for us to love as we are called, so He gave the only thing that was – Himself. In doing so, He gave us the resources to live a specific and continuing life of love. So don’t let regret or past failures hold you back, nor be overwhelmed by love’s call. Left to ourselves, we don’t have what it takes – but Jesus is with you, in you, and for you. Walk forward in hope and courage and commit yourself to cruciform love, knowing that His grace has the power to make it happen. Amen.