"Love Intercedes"
/Let’s revisit a truth from the past — you cannot change your spouse. Sadly, many couples spend valuable time and effort trying to do so. Insanity is defined as doing the same thing again and again while hoping for a different outcome. To end this frustration, we must embrace that changing hearts is God’s work, not ours.
Love Dare’s intent is not to change your spouse. Its challenge is to change yourself and in doing so, improve the environment of your marriage. To accomplish this, the Kendricks encourage us to become “wise farmers”. A farmer cannot make seeds grow - he cannot argue, manipulate or demand them. However, he can plant them in good soil, water, fertilize, weed, and turn it over to God. Paul Tripp’s book “What Did You Expect?” stresses the need of “pulling weeds and planting seeds” for a healthy marriage. This means we nurture the soil of our spouse’s heart and let God do His work.
To “wisely farm” our marriages, we need a powerful resource – prayer. It’s a spiritual phenomenon created by our almighty God as our means for accessing Him. Prayer really works and its importance cannot be overstated. The Bible is full of scriptures encouraging us to pray. Luke 18:1 tells us to pray instead of quitting, Philippians 4:6–7 says prayer brings peace when we are worried and Acts 12:1-17 illustrates how prayer can result in major breakthroughs.
Our living God desires an intimate relationship with us, but He is sovereign and does things His way. He is not a genie in a lamp ready to grant our every wish. Effective prayer requires some key elements, including a humble heart that is in a right relationship with God and others. God also gives us insight into our spouse’s weaknesses — not to nag, but so we know how to pray for them. Strategic prayer is far more effective than complaining.
If your spouse doesn’t know God through accepting Jesus as their savior, start there first. Beyond that, learn to pray unselfishly for your spouse’s needs. Pray for their heart, attitude and responsibilities before God. Pray for truth to replace lies, for forgiveness to replace bitterness and for a genuine breakthrough in your marriage. Then pray for your needs – for love and honor to become the norm, for the strengthening of your marriage and for it to reflect His glory to others.
In difficult times, prayer is often the last thing we turn to when in reality, it is the first thing we should do. One of the most loving things you can do is pray for your spouse. Matthew 7:7 says, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”
Two Special Notes:
For more on strategic prayer, check out the Kendricks’ book “The Battle Plan for Prayer” or their movie “War Room”.
I am taking a ‘holiday break’, so there will be no message next week. Merry Christmas everyone!