"Love is Not Irritable"

Love is hard to offend and quick to forgive. When under pressure, love doesn’t complain or overreact to minor problems. It displays patience, calmness and self-control.

Today’s theme, “Love is not irritable”, is closely related to last week’s message on rudeness. Bob Lepine offers good insight. Rude actions and words often spring from the heart of someone who is easily irritated. This is the antithesis of patience. When irritability takes over, there is no room for love. Being irritated by the words or actions of another is not born of love and grace. It is not of the Spirit; rather it comes from a darker part within us. Irritation happens when we’re focused on ourselves.

The Kendricks cite two elements that contribute to irritability. The first is stress, which can come from multiple sources. Relational causes such as arguing, division and bitterness are one. Another is excessive causes which may include overworking, overplaying and overspending. And finally, deficiencies such as lack of sleep, proper nutrition and exercise can be a reason. Life is a marathon so we must balance, prioritize and pace ourselves as well as seek biblical help. Scripture teaches us to let love guide our relationships (1 Colossians 3:12-14), to pray when anxious (Philippians 4:7-8), to delegate (Exodus 18:17-23) and not overindulge (Proverbs 25:16). It also calls us to observe the sabbath as a day of worship and rest.

The second significant source of irritability is something we’ve talked about before – selfishness. Being easily irritated reflects hidden selfishness or insecurity. Here are some ways this may manifest itself. Lust is one example where being ungrateful with what we have and coveting something forbidden causes us to be easily frustrated. Bitterness is another because our unresolved anger leaks out when provoked. Greed may be a factor as our cravings for more, coupled with the inability to obtain it, makes us irritable. And finally, pride can lead us to act harshly as we try to protect our ego and reputation.

If you are easily provoked or irritated, recognize that the reason is not the actions of others. It is your response to their actions and it reflects a lack of walking with the Spirit. Your list of selfish needs will never be satisfied, but you can choose instead to allow love (= God) to take over and lead you. Doing so will reduce your stress, replace selfish responses with righteous ones and make you more enjoyable to be around. In short, it follows the call to put love into action.

Thank you for your continued participation. I pray that you find this series both enjoyable and an encouragement for your marriage.

Fred