"Love is Not Rude"
/After last week’s departure from 1 Corinthians 13, we return with a theme from verse 5: “Love is not rude”. Nobody likes being around rude people. Their behavior may seem insignificant to them, but it is unpleasant for others. Genuine love minds its manners and practices self-control, yet another fruit of the Spirit found in Galatians 5:22.
Bob Lepine makes several good comments. Rudeness is about more than not adhering to a set of social graces. It comes from a heart of arrogance. Jesus said, “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.” (Matthew 12:34) Rudeness describes the way we treat others when we think we are better than they are. And rude people focus on how the behavior of others affects them while paying little attention on how their behavior affects others.
The Kendricks cite two major reasons why people are rude – ignorance and self-centeredness. They know the rules, but are blind to how they break them or are too self-centered to care. Ironically, their behavior at home may be quite different from the etiquette they display elsewhere.
To evaluate whether rudeness is an issue in your marriage, consider these challenging questions posed by Love Dare:
How does your spouse feel about the way you speak and act around them?
How does your behavior affect their sense of worth and self-esteem?
Would your spouse say that you are a blessing, or that you are condescending and embarrassing?
If you feel your spouse is the only one who needs work on their behavior, you may suffer from ignorance or self-centeredness. Love calls you to a higher standard. Allowing love to change your behavior can restore honor to your relationship. And if you are unwilling to change, you limit the quality and enjoyment of your marriage.
Love Dare also offers a practical tip. If you want your spouse to stop doing things that bother you, then first stop doing the things that bother them. I encourage you to follow their guidelines on practicing etiquette in your marriage:
Follow the Golden Rule. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Avoid double standards. Be as or more considerate to your spouse as you are to others.
Honor requests. Consider what your spouse has already asked you to do or not to do.
It is easy to find examples of rudeness in our messed up world. But God is love; there is no place for rudeness. Allow Him to make you more Christ-like so that both your individual life and marriage may reflect His glory to a fallen world.
God bless and have an amazing week!
Fred