“Love is a Covenant,” Part 1
After 71 messages, we have reached the final Love Dare topic. But the challenge to love your spouse should never end, so I encourage you to continue seeking and fulfilling God’s plans for your marriage. By pure coincidence, this theme circles back to a nugget I shared in my very first message on June 27, 2020: “God created marriage as a covenant, not a contract.” People tend to see and treat the two as equal, but that’s not the case. Marriage as a contract says, “I take you for myself, and we will see if this works out.” But when treated as a covenant, the meaning dramatically changes to “I give myself to you and commit to this marriage for life.”
There are major differences between covenants and contracts. Here are some common characteristics of a contract:
It is usually a written agreement based on distrust, outlining conditions and consequences if broken.
It is self-serving, has limited liability, and establishes a time frame for certain conditions to be met.
It can be broken with mutual consent.
In contrast, a covenant embraces the following elements:
It is a verbal commitment based on trust, assuring someone that your promise is unconditional.
It is for the benefit of others, comes with unlimited responsibility, and has no expiration date.
It is intended to be unbreakable.
The Art of Marriage makes a more “relational distinction” between the two. A contract is based on legalism and leverage while a covenant is based on love and loyalty. A contract lasts “as long as we both shall love” while a covenant lasts “as long as we both shall live”. A contract calls for the signing of names while a covenant calls for the bonding of hearts.
In The Meaning of Marriage, Tim Keller writes a powerful chapter on “The Essence of Marriage”. He comments that a contract establishes a consumer relationship, one where the individual’s needs are more important than the relationship itself and that it lasts only as long as the needs are met. He then describes how covenantal relationships are binding because the good of the relationship takes precedence over the needs of the individual. Keller characterizes a covenant as a combination of “law and love”. It is public and binding, but it is also love because it commits to another person and the relationship, even when things are not ideal.
The Bible contains numerous Old Testament covenants that God made with his people, including Noah, Abraham, Moses, David, and more. Ultimately and greatest of all, He made a “new covenant” through Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. Never once has God broken any of His covenants with His people.
This brings us to marriage, the strongest covenant on earth between two people - the pledge between a man and woman to establish an unconditional, lifetime love. Christian wedding vows are not merely commitments you hope to keep, but are premeditated promises spoken before God and witnesses out of love for another.
Marriage is to be an earthly reflection of God’s heavenly covenant with His church. We are called to reveal to the world the beauty of His unconditional love for us. In John 15:9, Jesus says, “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” Let these words motivate and equip you to be a channel of God’s love to your spouse and to embrace your marriage as a covenant.