"Love Makes Sacrifices"

People frequently comment that “Life can be hard”. But let’s be honest, we usually see this as our life is hard. We’re the first ones to feel it when things are tough for us. And we are quick to express our displeasure when we feel deprived or unappreciated. When our life is difficult, we notice.

Sadly, we often don’t notice life is tough for our spouse until they start complaining about it. And instead of sincerely caring and sharing their burdens, we may simply conclude that they have a bad attitude. The pain and pressure they are under doesn’t register with us nearly as much as our pain and pressure. When we complain, we want everyone to understand and sympathize with us. Yet we tend not to do so for our mate.

But when love is at work, it is a different story. Love does not need to be jarred awake by your spouse’s obvious distress. Instead, love goes into action before problems overwhelm your spouse. It foresees trouble mounting on the horizon and responds. That’s because love invites you to be sensitive to your spouse.

Love makes sacrifices. It keeps you so focused on what your spouse needs that you learn to take action without being asked. And when you fail to notice an emerging problem and need to be told, love jumps in to help. Even if your spouse expresses their stress through personal accusation, love looks beyond it to see a hurting person crying out for help. Rather than becoming defensive, love shows compassion and seeks to meet their needs. It lifts you from the self-pity of how you are being treated and turns your attention to your spouse.

When they are overwhelmed, love calls you to sacrifice your personal agenda to rescue them. Often, they may just want to talk through their problem and need a listening ear. They desire your attention, to know that you truly care, and that you are willing to help. They need you to pray with them about finding solutions and to follow up on how they are doing. (Important sidenote: A spouse is often seeking just this and not a full list of solutions. Resist giving “fix it” responses unless they truly ask for it.)

1 John paints a beautiful and detailed picture of sacrificial love. 1 John 3:16 tells how Jesus laid down His life for us and that we ought to lay down our lives for others. Jesus willingly took our problems on Himself and extends us grace to do so for others. And He can give us unique insight and abilities to help our spouse, no matter how simple or complex the problem may be.

So think about your spouse’s greatest needs at this very moment. Is there a burden you can help them carry through a sacrifice on your part? Whether big or small, commit to doing whatever you can to meet their need. Over time and with God’s help, this may blossom into a new habit of sacrificially loving and caring for your spouse. As Galatians 6:2 says, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”