"Cruciform Love" - Part 1

Let’s build on last week’s sacrificial love theme using material from Paul Tripp’s “What did you Expect?” Tripp draws upon 1 John 4:7-21, so I encourage you to pause and read it. He asserts that the best definition of love comes from the most significant event in human history - the Cross. Jesus’ sacrifice is the perfect picture of what love is and does. And in this passage, John calls us to “cruciform love” — a love that shapes itself to the cross of Jesus (see verses 10 & 11).

Here is Tripp’s definition of cruciform love: “Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not require reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving.” Now let’s see how he breaks it down.

  • Love is willing. You cannot force a person to love. The decisions, words, and actions of love must always come from a willing heart.

  • Love is willing self-sacrifice. Throughout this series, we often remark how love goes beyond our own needs and feelings. There is no true love without sacrifice as it calls you to serve, wait, suffer, and forgive - time and again.

  • Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another. Love always focuses on the good of another. It is motivated by their interests, excited to meet their needs, wants the best for them, and seeks to deliver.

  • Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not require reciprocation. Love isn’t a negotiation for mutual good and does not seek a personal reward. It is driven by the good that will result in the life of the person being loved.

  • Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not require reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving. Jesus died on the cross because we could never earn, achieve or deserve the love of God. Tripp asserts that if we only love people who we feel are deserving, we are not motivated by love for others, but by love for ourselves. Love does its best when the other person is undeserving.

Marriage constantly calls us to be willing, to sacrifice, to consider the good of our spouse, to love without seeking reciprocation, and to offer what has not been deserved. If you wonder, “Where we get this kind of love?” John answers that as well. “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). Love doesn’t grow out of duty, it grows from gratitude. Gratitude for the love that God lavishes on us and that we, as Christians, strive to share.

So ask yourself, “Is your marriage motivated by cruciform love that is God inspired, other-focused, self-sacrificing and willing? Have you made and are you living out this commitment? Where do you need to seek forgiveness and commit to God’s way of loving?” Next week we will look at a few concrete examples of how cruciform love thinks and acts.