"Love is Impossible"

As we progress through the Love Dare series, you may have discovered a secret. It is impossible to manufacture unconditional (agape) love from your imperfect heart. It is beyond your capacity and you simply cannot work hard enough to produce this from within. At times, you might display traits such as patience, kindness and thoughtfulness. But the task of consistently loving someone unselfishly and unconditionally is a totally different matter.

Think about how many times your love has failed to prevent a myriad of sins - deceit, manipulation, lust, envy, judgmental thinking, unkind actions, anger, unwillingness to end an argument, apologize or forgive, plus many more. This is a product of humanity’s sinful condition. We have all have fallen short of God’s standards (Romans 3:23) and need His forgiveness. If you are not in a right relationship with God, it is impossible to sacrificially love your spouse. You cannot give what you don’t have, nor love others in greater measure than what you possess.

Faithfully pure love that can withstand any challenge must come from a higher source. 1 John 4:7 reveals the answer: “Let us love one another, for Love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.” The ESV study notes comment on this verse that: “Love is a consequence of, not a precondition for, being born of God. Unbelievers can love others to some degree, but not in the way that God’s indwelling presence enables Christians to love”.

God’s infinite love for both you and your spouse has made a way to express love through you. Jesus came to earth to be both the example and source of this perfect love. When we surrender our lives to Jesus and give Him control, our deepest need for love is met. This is what enables us to unconditionally love others.

Jesus tells us in John 15 that He is the vine and we are the branches. Apart from Him, we can do nothing, which includes loving our spouse well. But if we abide in Him, we can ask and it will be given. Ephesians 3:19-20 notes that this close relationship allows us to know the love of Christ, be filled with the fullness of God and have the power that works within us.

God is continually pursuing you. He offers you His love and forgiveness, but He doesn’t force you to accept. Maybe you have strayed from God by not praying, being in the Word or attending church. Perhaps the love you once felt seems impossible or has vanished. Have you realized your need for God to change your heart and give you His ability to love? Reach out to Him, find Him and walk with Him. The truth is, you cannot live without Him and you cannot love without Him. But there is no telling what He will do in your life and marriage if you choose to put your trust in Him.