"Love Protects," Part 1

“Love protects” follows closely on the heels of our trust and faithfulness themes. Every marriage will face a wide variety of threats, so “protection” can be analyzed from several different angles. Love Dare chooses to examine destructive behaviors that can sabotage and destroy individual lives as well as marriages. Responsibility, not indifference, is necessary to guard against these attacks. Love must be willing to fight to protect ourselves, our spouse, and our marriage.

The next three messages will cover difficult and sensitive material that will apply to some more than others. If your marriage is on solid ground, this may be less relevant to you than other themes we have covered. Nevertheless, I ask your indulgence as this will hopefully offer much needed encouragement for anyone dealing with these issues. Here are some major threats Love Dare addresses.

Misplaced priorities. We have previously seen how even good things can become harmful in excess. Common examples, such as work, friends, hobbies, and more, must be kept in proper balance. It is difficult to protect our marriage or family if we are not physically present or relationally engaged. Ironically, our own children can sometimes be a factor. Parenting is a key priority, indeed a covenant relationship, but a spouse should not prioritize this above their marriage. Children need to be raised on the foundation of a strong marriage - to see their parents demonstrating unconditional love for each other by honoring their vows, showing grace, and pursuing God. The reverse, trying to build or sustain a marriage based on parenting, will invariably weaken the marriage as well as potentially harm the children in the long run.

Unhealthy relationships. Not everyone is suited to be a trusted friend. This doesn’t mean they aren’t fun to be with or we should avoid them. But we need to be wise about who we confide in and seek counsel from. Steer clear of, or at least don’t take advice from, anyone who undermines your marriage. This may even include family members.

Harmful influences. Are you allowing certain routines to damage your relationships? TV, cell phones, iPads/laptops and other technology can be enjoyable additions to our lives. But they can also be destructive. Even watching “non-harmful" content can be a problem if it drains away countless hours from your spouse and family. Guard against things that deaden your mind and steal your time.

Shame. Everyone has flaws, and marriage will expose them to both you and your spouse. This makes us vulnerable to each other. Unless they are destructive and put you or your family in harm’s way, it is crucial to respect and protect these secrets. Love hides their shame from those who have no reason to know about it.

Next week, we will add two more to the list. Harmful behaviors are seldom discussed and can be difficult for some. If you repeatedly struggle with any of them, I strongly encourage you to seek trustworthy help. Possible sources include professional counselors, pastors, Bethesda’s care/marriage ministry program or a mentor. Always start in prayer, but also remember that God uses others to help. You don’t have to go it alone.