"Love is Responsible" — Part 2

Two important actions were mentioned at the end of last week’s message — confess and repent. As we conclude, we will learn more about how they integrate with responsibility. And we will also see how these three relate to another essential element we have discussed before — forgiveness.

Let’s begin with repentance. This is far more than a simple “I’m sorry” or a quick fix to defuse a difficult situation. It requires a sincere apology and intent to correct a wrongful behavior going forward. As imperfect beings, we continue to mess up (see Romans 7:15–20), but this does not excuse us from trying to do better. Growing a heart of repentance takes time and practice because our pride resists responsibility. However, humility and honesty before God and your spouse are crucial to a healthy marriage. This doesn’t mean you are always in the wrong or should become a doormat. But if something is not right between you and God or between you and your spouse, correcting that is a priority.

Do you take responsibility for your failures in your marriage? Have you said or done things to your spouse that are wrong? What about with God? 1 John 1:8-9 explains that if we say we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. But if we confess, God will forgive our sins. Denial means living a lie, while confession allows us to receive God’s mercy.

The same applies in marriage. Sincere apologies can bring amazing breakthroughs. They can tear down walls of resistance, rebuild relational bridges, improve effective communication, and restore feelings of affection. Even if your spouse is ninety percent wrong, the sooner you offer a heartfelt apology for your ten percent, the sooner healing can begin and the relationship can be restored.

Take a moment to honestly reflect on whether you have wronged your spouse in some way and never made it right. If you have, then now is the time to humble yourself, confess your offenses, offer a genuine apology, and seek reconciliation. Doing so is an act of love. God wants no unresolved issues between you and your spouse. Pray through your areas of responsibility and shortcomings and ask for God’s forgiveness. Once you have done that, then repair the damage with your spouse.

To do this sincerely calls for swallowing your pride and seeking forgiveness, regardless of how your spouse responds. This starts with dealing with your issues, not theirs, and continuing whether they react kindly or coldly. This may be one of the most difficult things you will ever do, but it is vital to improving your relationship with both your spouse and with God. When your heart is sincere, you may be surprised by the grace and strength that He gives you to do this. Love always takes responsibility for its actions!